Chorus:
What a surpriser
Open your eyes, A
Woman advisor
The name of this entertainment is
Women lose weight
Our first years of marriage everything was
just great
But after two kids
And a weight gain factor
The fact is
Now she's completely unattractive
Look fat chicks
I don't mean to sound rude
I tell her nice hit the gym
And don't eat so much food
But no
Your shallow
You need to run the course of unconditional
love and so forth
But how if desire's is not there
That's just delayment
Divorce is, child support, alimony payments
My happiness I doubt discouraged
So hurry for an easier way out of this
marriage
Meanwhile my secretary June well groomed
When you gonna leave your wife
I tell her soon mommy soon I assume
Or my destiny is blue
Interestingly
The only thing left for me to do is to
kill her
Chorus:
I'm gonna have to kill her
Of course there's laws which enforces
divorces
Send that ass
Right to the morgue miss
My plans against or shenanigans
Kinda ran thin
Knowin' nothing about poisoning
And I can't swim
Bad intentions pumping
Might as well become numb
Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone
wrong
But the catch is do I have the nerve to
dispatch this
Who can I get to help me murder this fat
chick
I guess I'll have to play a dude robbin'
On Wednesday
The day she usually goes food shopping
Anyway long story short hit the side of her
Chrysler
And sent her clean over the divider
"You bastard" she said as the wreck went
tumblin' down the hill
I thought "she has to be dead"
Later on get a call
From a Lieutenant O'Rourke
Had me leapin' like a frog
We need you at the morgue
So I selfishly pursue
"Boo hoo" there was nothing else for me to
do
I had to kill her
Chorus:
So you mean to tell me officer you don't
have no clue who did this hit and run
No sir we don't have no clues right now
This is terrible what am I gonna tell the
kids?
Pull yourself together sir
I'm so broken up inside I just can't
believe this
I understand, I understand
Catch the person who did this
We're gonna try sir
Please
Screamin "who done took my heart" acting
shaken up a lot
At the funeral though everyone was lookin'
at me odd like I did it
Like I was the reason my mates slain
murmuring
"I heard he was displeased with her weight
gain"
While my secretary sort of a sexy blonde
can't cook
All she does is order from restaurants
All of the sex you want
I doubt could address,
Clothes not washed proper and house look
a mess and
Talkin to detectives that was waitin outside
How I took a long lunch break day the wife
died
I darn near turned pale
And because of betrayal
They indicted me, and gave me an
impossible bail
Moral of the story is: Desire is important
So watch your weight
It'll keep you mate smitten it's a given
Though looking back I realized I didn't have
to kill her
Chorus:
Well there you have it
Keep thin trim
Keep your marriage healthy
Do you know what I mean?
Small message from Morcheeba and Slick
Rick the ruler
Peace
