I'm headed to Paris at a quarter to noon
So excited to see her, I went straight to the Louvre
I heard she's exquisite, so I bought my ticket
Pushed my way to the front of the crowd
And I couldn't believe what I saw
Mona Lisa, you're an overrated piece of shit
With your terrible style and your dead shark eyes
And your smirk like you're hiding a dick
What the fuck is this garbage?
Mona Lisa, the original basic bitch
Traveled thousands of miles to see your beautiful smile
Talk about a bait and switch, you ugly
I'm headed to Cairo to see the pyramids
But what did I find there? A dirty pile of bricks
There was trash all over and a very foul odor
The smell was out of a camel's ass
But even that wasn't as bad as
Mona Lisa, you're worse than the pyramids
Can someone explain why the whole wide world
Is obsessed with a Garbage Pail Kid
Looks like a Garbage Pail Kid
And DaVinci must have sucked an art historian's dick
To get this girl who looked like uncooked bread
At the top of the all-time list of paintings
Mona Lisa, I got to know
Where the fuck are your eyebrows, I really wanna know
You could land a helicopter on that big potato forehead
Get this chick some Rogaine
You a bloated porpse, girl
I'm an American man, this is my native land
Where no one lies about paintings
But that's not the case in France
Where the naked ladies dance and they look like Dennis Franz
You're so mangy, Mona
Hair part wider than a country road
Unless you count cats, she died alone-a
The Mona Lisa sucks, la da da da da
