Stewie: Now everybody gather 'round and listen if you would
When I tell you every person needs a way of feeling good
Every kitty needs a ball of string and every dog a stick
Stewie & Brian: But all you need is a bag of weed to really get a kick
All: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, Everything is better with A Bag of Weed
It's the only hope that you'll ever need
Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed
Stewie: Here you go, you're all getting it now
Ensemble: When Texas people want to feel good,
Stewie: They go assault a queer.
Ensemble: When stupid people need a thrill,
Stewie: They rent The Rocketeer.
Ensemble: When Michael Jackson needs a rush,
Stewie: He humps a guy like me.
Ensemble: Right!
All: But all we need is a bag of weed,
To keep us worry free.
One, Two, Three, HO!
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed
Oh, you don't need meth and you don't need speed
Cuz' Everything is better with A Bag of Weed
Stewie: Have a go, Brian!
Brian: As Mr. H.L. Mencken said, "The common man's a fool."
Stewie: And just like Helen Keller said, "Doof stoo gee nay foo tool."
Brian: But try and use your heads and don't buy into all the fear.
All: HEY!
'Cuz all we need is a bag of weed
To make us wanna cheer!
And One, Two!
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed
You can try and fight but we're all agreed
Because everything is better with A Bag of Weed
(break)
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight,
And One, Two, Three, Four, And A Five, And A Six, And A Seven! HO!!
A Bag of Weed, A Bag of Weed
Oh, everything is better with A Bag of Weed
You're a happy guy but you can't proceed
Because everything is better with A Bag...
Of...
Weed!
Oh ev'rything is better with a bag of weed!!
