"
I hate everyone I love
for keeping me anchored to this earth
it's in all their god damned support
that I can't leave behind
a happy corpse
with a smile on my face
and a hole in my chest
'cause there was a hole in my heart
that no one could fix
father asks 'why' but please I don't know why mother keeps crying she can't let me go talk going around about being institutionalized cringing in my mind about the thought of being exorcised there's a demon in my brain and he's eating all my joy he's the same spawn of satan that made me the boy I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am I am
I am
such a fucking wreck
and I'm sort of scared
I'm 19 years old
already dead-set on being alone
so give me my klonopin
and leave me alone
or god come about
and let me leave home
'cause I hate myself
for being self-involved
and I love myself
for being better than all
with my nose in the air
I can truly say
you would miss me too much
if I were gone
"
— Jackson
