I walk up to you and I shake your hand
Ask you how your day was. You were up all night? That sucks, I understand
Now hurry the fuck up 'cause I don't want to wait
I'm in a hurry and it's your fault I'm stepping twenty minutes late
Chorus
'Cause I'm a pilot
I only care about me
I don't give a fuck if I bring your jet back
Code 2 or code 3
'Cause I'm a pilot
And I never make mistakes
I'll take the credit if it ain't broken
I'll blame you if it breaks
I don't even know where oil filter lies
But I'll tell you fix it faster goddammit
'Cause I'm the one who flies
And I'll leave FOD in the cockpit without even a trace
Then I'll over-g the targeting pod with a smile on my face
Repeat Chorus
I'll put out some chaff, maybe a flare. Aww fuckit
'Cause when I get back I wanna see you have to replace the whole damn bucket
And the ECM pod that one's my favorite joke
Forget to turn it on? Fuck no, it just pisses me off when something ain't broke
'Cause I'm a pilot and I'm a mean ol' sonafabitch
Yeah I know it sucks that it's all cold and rainy and here I am inside my cockpit all warm and toasty
Hey crewchief! Why don't you get my tapes for me? What? You think I wanna hold this helmet bag all damn day?
I'll piss on your seat and blame it on a leak
Oh wait, gotta think of something else that's the same excuse that I used last week
When I'm taxiing in do whatever it is you do
You could do a dance, pull down your pants
I don't care I'm not even looking at you
I'm sorry I scratched your jet up, maybe she had an itch
'Cause your baby may have your name on her, but I just made her my bitch
