Monopoly was not for me;
chess made me stressed out -
so the only way I could get down was with pocket electronics and bleeps.
Ever since my Game Boy made toys obsolete I've been a well behaved boy that played inside and stayed off the street.
Yes, I got my electric shocks from Tetris blocks and Mario Land.
Though there wasn't much room for much but mushrooms I was the man, man. With a pad in my hand, hammering at it while eating my breakfast, being the best - that was the plan, beating the rest and leaving them breathless.
Please believe me, nobody could beat me at Tetris, I fucking rock, dropping blocks like heads off chopping blocks, I was on some next shit.
And I've still got a flame for puzzle games like HD Hexic, but when the PC came my gaming tastes became eclectic.
This day's grim. It's raining, what wonderful weather for gaming.
The sun's blazing so let's stay in, it's wonderful weather for gaming.
I was the geeky one, I really wanted a PC CD-ROM, then got it.
Eight meg of RAM, a CRT screen, she was some top kit.
Free moments were devoted to keystrokes and the odd click.
Far more into Dark Forces than even the Star Wars Kid.
And Civilization II's a brilliant game that you really should play and I still do today.
Computer games improve your brain, it's proven, mate.
So if you behave in stupid ways then please refrain from blaming GTA.
I really hate excuses, I may just shoot my teacher's face.
Nah, I'm already embroiled in getting these Tesla coils ready in my base.
The Russians are coming with trucks full of gunmen, I need to be safe.
But maybe the Green Beret could lead the way and see us through - at least til we replace the PC games with PS2.
This day's grim. It's raining, what wonderful weather for gaming.
The sun's blazing so let's stay in, it's wonderful weather for gaming.
Taking control of somebody else's console with no remorse,
I was so debauched, my only thoughts were total scores on Tony Hawk's;
or running amok in Smuggler's Run, smuggling guns
and drugs for fun and pulling a gun on any NPC I see or stumble upon.
GTA 3 made me inclined to kill repeatedly; the spinal chills of Silent hill are still in my mind and creeping me the fuck out.
Look out! Pull out your sawn-off shotgun cos there's a hot zombie nurse that wants to hurt you and cut off your oxygen.
But as much as asphyxiation may be lots of fun, I've got a crush, a fixation with Playstation - I'm in love. So I said to the PS2, "me and you need a breather," then in three clicks I'd ordered an Xbox 360 off eBay.
This day's grim. It's raining, what wonderful weather for gaming.
The sun's blazing so let's stay in, it's wonderful weather for gaming.
So we switched teams to the 360, glitch free.
Lots of slick features - HD, HDD; I don't miss leads. Gears is my gear but I gets my hits from Hitman.
The Bioshock has Mass Effect as I sink into Oblivion. Splinter Cell's mint as well and Rainbow Six takes no prisoners, it's the business - and the cover system's fucking wicked!
Ducking and chucking a frag, blind fire from behind piles of rubble and zipping them up in a bag;
I'm loving the lack of health packs - putting a plaster on a fracture or a shrapnel gash, what the hell's that?
In the new generation of computer gaming you hold the left trigger half way down or let the computer do the aiming.
So what are you complaining for?
"The Forza scoreboard's been reset!" Shut up and improve your Gamerscore before you get the dreaded Red Ring of Death.
This day's grim. It's raining, what wonderful weather for gaming.
The sun's blazing, David's raiding, it's wonderful weather for gaming.
