Back in the not too distant past
When I would need a quick repast
Or a temporary break from my agenda
Up to the bedroom I would head
Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed
And sneak a peak at all the portraits of pudenda
My alternatives were slim
If I tried to find another source for sin
I'd have to hang out with the losers in the backroom of my local video store
But last month I finally made the call
I got a brand new cable modem installed
And it opened up the floodgates of a whole new universe of INTERNET PORN
Internet porn: Roman orgy scenes
Internet porn: Dominatrix queens
Internet porn: Girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep
Internet porn: Gross anatomy
Internet porn: Pam and Tommy Lee
Internet porn: When you're given so much to choose from who has time to sleep?
Honestly honey, I dunno how the link got on there!
After my girlfriend goes to sleep
And I get out of bed and down the hall I creep
So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3 or 4
You'll always find me in that same tableau
Silloueted by my monitor's warm glow
And absorbing all the bounty from the cornocopia of INTERNET PORN
Internet porn: Barely legal teens
Internet porn: Naughty figurines
Internet porn: Geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men
Internet porn: Erotic Asian art
Internet porn: Guys with extra parts
Internet porn: I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again!
Internet porn: Male-in-love.com
Internet porn: There's my neighbor's mom
Internet porn: Bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like smurfs
Internet porn: Massage le crevage
Internet porn: Oh de' toi menage
Internet porn: Every kind of smut from every corner of the earth!
